Saturday, April 18, 2020

The Monsoon Wedding

I have been wanting to write about this event in my life since the day we got married, but my OCD associated with ordering events chronologically, did not allow me to get here till I wrote about the events that preceded this WEDDING. So finally here we are.

When I came back from Sweden in June 2016, I was preparing for my wedding and was also looking for suitable work in India that allowed me to use my Masters in Outdoor Education to its full potential. This was indeed a stressful period because with a specialized Masters, I had to find work that helped me get the best both economically and intellectually. Moreover, the stress of taking a loan that had to be repaid along with interest also put a burden on the my emotional state. Nevertheless, I kept applying for jobs that were interesting but found none of them to be economically satisfactory. Also, with a Masters, there is an inherent notion built by the society that salaries need to match your education and expectations naturally become way higher. Even though this aspect kept me worrying, I was planning for the wedding.

We had chosen a temple, just on the foothills of the Western Ghats. This was a really small temple with limited capacity set beside a beautiful river and scenic view of the mountains. I could stand here the whole day looking at the mountains around and listening to the sound of the flowing river. As a teenager, I always questioned the whole grandiose associated with weddings. I remember going to these wedding and wondering, why do we need to spend so much money on this day? Well, as I grew up, part of that thought stayed with me, I did not want the money to be spent on a huge wedding hall and did not want to end up having a wedding where I couldn't remember who came to the wedding. In the Indian standards, I had a really small wedding with 150 people or so. This is small, considering the standards of 500 - 800 who attend an average Indian wedding.

River Kapila flowing beside the temple. The monsoon clouds hovering over the mountains.

The piece of the humble village where we got married 

I am/was bitten by the eco-friendly bug, so I also wanted to keep it as eco-friendly as possible. I chose a tussar silk saree that is made without killing the silkworms. Looking back I wonder, why didn't I just buy a cotton saree. Well, I guess, it was the grandeur attached with the 'wedding saree'. I told the caterer to use steel glasses, banana leaves (which are generally used during weddings), and local seasonal produce for the menu. I, off course, wanted to decorate the 'mantapa' and requested the local artist to use locally available leaves for the decorations. So, he ended up using mango and coconut leaves to decorate the mantapa. I had also painted coconut shells during my free time before the wedding and these lined the entire floor of the mantapa. Off course I wanted a little bit of Sweden in my wedding, apart from my friend who was there. So, pine cones that I had collected from Linköping stood along with the coconut shells as the floor decorations. I had also decided not to print the wedding cards, so wrote a wedding invitation on a handmade paper and sent it as a digital copy to all guests.


We learnt to make these decorations from the local artist. We joined in and made a few under his guidance.

This is how they looked on the mantapa, the beautiful work of the local artist

My artwork 😜
This is how the mantapa looked. Mango leaves, coconut leaves and banana leaves and some flowers. Some coconut shells that I painted and some pine cones and there we go!!

The day before the wedding we planted 20 saplings that were gifted by Anand, on the land beside the temple. It was so much fun, with friends and family coming together to plant saplings. But having said that, I haven't checked on these plants yet, it will be 4 years now in August. The day before our wedding, it rained slightly, and the fireflies where glowing in massive clusters on the trees in the evening. It was a sight to behold.

All our friends and family celebrating the planting of saplings
On the day of the wedding, I initially wore a saree that I had borrowed from my mom, a beautiful bright pink cotton saree. I loved standing on that beautiful mantapa, that we all helped decorate. Also, there was no person from the beauty parlour whom I had to spend time with, instead it was my childhood friend Sruthi who stood by me and did a little touch up and made me feel beautiful.

Many guests who came to the wedding were awed by the beauty of the landscape, and children could run around, and feed the huge mahseer fishes by the river as the ceremony went on. I was so happy that everyone could enjoy the fresh mountain air, and have fun with their family during the wedding. The hanging bridge across the river was also adding to the excitement. Who doesn't love walking on a hanging bridge! From the youngest to the adults, many were spending time on the hanging bridge with a child-like excitement.

And this is what our friends and family were up to and we were so happy that we were able to give this experience at our wedding.

Mine and Nikhil's family, cousins, uncles, aunties and all the wonderful friends and colleagues who came from far and near, made this wedding the most cherished memory for me. It is their efforts to  make this day a wonderful memory for us after all that matters, and our return gift to everyone who came I feel was the beautiful Western Ghats, the mountains, the river, the people, immersing themselves in the nature around them.

My friends back in Sweden who could not attend the wedding planted saplings as wedding gift that would become a huge trees and live on for ages and be home to several critters small and big!!
An oak tree planted by my dear friend Bengt in Linköping

And he got this done beside the tree. Every time I look at this picture, it reminds me of our beautiful friendship and how much I miss him.

Birch tree up in Luleå planted by my Swedish grandparents Birgitta and Kari

Another birch planted by Bo and his family in Linköping
My mentor and friend Åsa and family arranged to plant 20 trees in Africa. Our friends Olga and Ranjith planted, a mango plant named 'Neekti' in their home garden in Stockholm. Well, what can I say, I feel lucky to have such wonderful folks in my life.
Here is to my family who had been supportive of my ideas and gave shape to them.  It takes a lot of courage, trust and belief to pull off something like this, and I am lucky to have this. It is always a good team work that leads to beautiful results and it was all the coordinated efforts from them and my extended family and friends who made this a beautiful day for us.

Here is us thanking every person who sent their wishes, attended our wedding, and every soul who made us feel so lucky to have them in our lives.